Being on the other side of medicine as family

It was around 6:00 am or so when my dad was face timing me while I was just out of shower. At first I was surprised and thought he might be butt dialing but then realized he had called multiple times which made me a little nervous as he wouldn’t call that many times if it wasn’t an emergency. I quickly called him and his first words when I heard his voice was “your mother does not look right to me”. You can imagine when someone says that to you it can either mean a bad thing or in my profession the worst case scenario. At that point, I could hear that panic in his voice which I have heard only when any of our health is in danger. He quickly said that my mom had one sided weakness and has been slurring her speech. At that point, I was in full panic mode but also trying to calm down at the same time. I start think stroke which is the worst case scenario and mostly hemorrhagic stroke (which is bleed in the brain) for her as I knew she is on coumadin (blood thinner that can make you bleed in places if the level of that medication goes up).

I tried facetiming him immediately and realized my mom indeed was weak on one side but my dad who always has a good head on his shoulders quickly realized this could also be where my mom’s sugars could have dropped so quickly checked her fingerstick which was in 30s (anything below 60 is hypoglycemia which is equal no bueno) so he quickly gave her sugar water. I basically ran out of my apartment half naked, gathered whatever I could think of and of course with our luck it was raining outside. The way I have driven that day I don’t think I’d wish that on anyone with god knows how many thoughts involved with the worst case scenario involving my mom. I get there and EMT were just lifting my mom in the ambulance is when I catch her eyes which showcased nothing but ample amount of fear. The EMT squad knowing my background started asking more questions about my mom so I told them how she had been in the last couple of days and had to repeat the same story to ER nurse, ED physician, neurology resident and then to the attending. At that time I realized that how crazy and exhausting it has to be for a patient who already is scared, upset and probably being unaware with what is wrong with him or her to be repeating their story a billion times. I mean I being in healthcare was trying to understand but even I couldn’t that day as I was trying to be an advocate for my mother and knowing too much can also be nerve-wrecking thing when it comes to your family

My mom had to go through CT head, CT angio of head ( scanning arteries going to the brain) and MRI brain while not having any food plus there were no signs of stroke but her one sided weakness was deemed to be due to low blood sugars. But the good thing of going to hospital that day was that her blood thinner level was 10 so if she kept taking her medication she could have eventually bled somewhere so in all I truly do believe that things sometimes happen for the right reason. Throughout that hospitalization I realized how difficult was it for me to not get aggressive, defensive and just plain frustrating with the way my mom’s care was being managed. There were times when I almost felt like nothing was being done or no answers were given to us when doctors would come in one by one and it was during those times I realized how insanely difficult it has to be for a patient with no medical knowledge plus no family taking care of them trying to keep track of something.

Eventually my mom was discharged and then she started developing really bad swelling of her legs while accumulating fluid in her belly and having diarrhea all day. At that time there was an inkling that there might be something wrong with her liver but we didn’t have answers and just more questions with multiple specialists involved from cardiology, heme/onc, gastroenterology, infectious disease, neurology. Have you ever felt so helpless that even while being in medicine I couldn’t help or take away her pain and felt like everyday during that time I feared I was going to lose her? The story actually starts there to her needing hospitalization at a university hospital which involves liver specialists to transplant surgery..but the story still continues and its not over yet

Just so you can see the transition of her from looking the way she did on the right side to the left side which is a recent pic. She had lost more than 50 to 60 pounds in that span of 3 months when she was severely unwell…