Five lessons from 2018

1. Don’t take yourself for granted

A lot of times I make other people a priority in my life than myself and you’d think it would come naturally to us humans to make ourselves more of a priority. I mean we do have to live with ourselves more so than others so then why are we our worst critics or stop taking care of our needs. Personally last year I stopped caring for my emotional as well as being mentally sane if that makes sense. I was giving too much importance to people who were not only good for me but were carcinogenic to my mental peace. At some point us keeping ourselves in the backseat will end up in the front seat when you least expect it so taking care of yourself emotionally is important and if that means cutting out people who are toxic for your sanity then so be it.

2. It’s OKAY to feel dumb or not confident and even overwhelmed from time to time

I think being in medicine and especially being a newly minted doctor I put that pressure on myself that I’ve to know some ridiculously basic medical stuff which I’ve forgotten and I bet even as a medical student I didn’t know. There are times when my patients ask me something and I honestly can’t remember how to counsel them on it or recommend them but overtime have gotten better at saying I actually have no idea but can look it up and let you know. There are times when my professional as well as personal lives seem like nothing is working out the way I had envisioned when I would become a doctor and there are times everything seems overwhelming. But I also remind myself that I’m a work in progress and with time, hard work and more importantly being open as well as dedicating time to learning will lead to eventually decimating those feelings.

3. It’s TRULY OKAY to be a single INDIAN woman who is in her early 30s

I can’t even explain the amounts of time I’ve felt guilty, frustrated and exhausted of why this even needs to be something I write about. There were times this year when it felt like getting older is one of the worst things that could happen to me and especially with the combination of being single plus being indian. People my age when it comes to my friends and family are married with kids. Here I’m barely having a grip on my career and let’s not even talk about my personal life which seems non-existent. I mean don’t get me wrong this girl has been trying and gosh do I have stories for all the females out there who have to go through what we call modern dating in today’s world. But more than anything its been a humbling process and everyday I come to an understanding that its okay to not be okay with it but be able to actively taking action for it. Its okay to be patient and not settle for something that’s not for you or more importantly let go of people who are not meant for you.

4. Let go of anything that does not vibe with you

This personally is an important lesson as overtime I’ve realized some people or things will play a crucial role in shaping how you turn out to be. I mean we’re all messed up in certain ways so don’t get me wrong but its not your responsibility to force a connection or waste your time if its not working out. Learn to let go of things that are not meant for you and if they’re then it’ll always come back to you.

5. Most of the time its not about you

This has to be one of the most important lessons to me last year and it came with some difficult times especially when you least expect it. I always used to think people behave a certain way with me because maybe internally I lacked something within me for them to be that way with me. But the reality is we’ve no idea what the other person is thinking or going through or how they react to certain things unless you know them well. Most of the times if things happen out of the blue then realize that its not your responsibility to figure things out or have endless conversations with that person as to what could have made it better. You’re not here to solve other peoples’ emotional baggage as its any sane adults responsibility to deal with that before being in a mature relationship or atleast be able to work at it. You can help them when they ask for help but you can’t do anything if there is no communication of such things. You’ve to be mature enough to identify these things and come to an understanding that its not about you most of the times.